1. Gatso Speed Cameras. Recently, a Gatso caught me speeding on my moped (36mph on Barbara Castle Way, a 30mph road), which is fair enough. I recently was able to attend the speed awareness course, but an error on my behalf resulted in me having to reschedule when I got there. Normally this would result in points and a fine, but in my case this was waived in order for a rescheduled course. 

Given how friendly everyone there was, I'm removing the original number one entry, as despite what people would have you think, the people there are human and do understand - when I rescheduled the head office actually replied "we've been told you're not a bad person so we're allowing this". Obviously people have taken the michael out of this scheme...

2. The A6177. Then they went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like upgrade you. The Grane Road was never designed to be an M65-M66 shortcut. Before 1997 it couldn't cope as the B6232. Now with it's 50mph limit, and new designation, wow, it STILL can't cope. And to top it all off, they managed to give it the same bloody number as the Bradford Ring Road! ARGH! Meanwhile, closer to Blackburn, a new roundabout and two bus stops are causing delicious amounts of chaos at rush hour. Thank you so bloody much! 

Of course, this road is now dead. It has reverted to being the B6232, but in Blackburn it is the A6077. No flowers for you.

3. Jack Straw. Funny thing to include, I know. However, I have a dislike of this man, his policies, and his party. Therefore he deserves a place on my list. Also, why does Blackburn always produce cabinet ministers? Barbara Castle, Philip Snowden, etc?

4. Motorway Signals. Going down the M65 the other day only to see the matrix signals flashing at 50. Nothing there. Unfortunetly, when I was on the M55 a day later, the vehicle I was in also ignored some 50s and nearly ran over a hitchhiker walking down the inside lane. Nevertheless, the police were pretty quick in picking the bugger up and taking him back to Blackpool Police Station! Moral of story: A flashing 50 is not something to scoff at. Unless you're on a straight carriageway where you can see it's clear for the next mile or so. 

In November 2005 I learned the police set these signals, and therefore any errors are due to lack of information. The big signals, the MS3s, are operated by the National Traffic Control Centre who are excellent at their job and rarely make an error with the signals.

5. The lack of a Gisburn By-pass. The incredibly busy in places A59 only really has one major bottleneck between the A666 and the Yorkshire boundary - Gisburn. So can we have a by-pass please?

6. That A666 Spur at M65 Junction 4. Alright, I'm on my cycle coming up Eccleshill Road from Lower Darwen (where I live), wait a minute, the green cycle-path suddenly stops, I'm thrown onto the roundabout, then it mounts the pavement again, throws me back onto the roundabout and then onto the dual carriageway A666 Spur. As a result, I use the central reservation to cycle down (it's got no barriers), and I was once stopped by the police, as "cycles aren't allowed on this road". I pointed out that THERE'S A CYCLE LANE behind me, and then he looked blankly and told me to begone. Not my favourite route, but it's better than the slog up Sandy Lane and it's 1:8 hill. 

This, too, has been rectified. Presumably for the same reason as everything else I have pointed out that has been corrected? Still, at least somebody's listening so well done there! However, now I have my moped this cycle lane means zilch to me anyway.

7. Transport 2000. Repeat after me please: We demand 'integrated' transport. That means we want the car to be abolished. We contradict ourselves and are a bunch of self-opinionated gormless holier-than-thou prats. When we understand the true meaning of integrated transport, we will be removed from the LMARS Hall of Shame. As a friend of mine says, if their President it Michael Palin, it's all a joke. Right? 

Actually, it's not. It appears that the group was directed off course by eco-loons and bus enthusiasts with shares in public transport. Oh dearie me.

8. Blackburn. All of it. It's my hometown, but that doesn't mean I like it. I hate it with a passion. It was in theory destroyed in the 1960s when they rebuilt the centre, and well, since then, it's got the prestigious honour of being the only town to look like it's been bombed/hit by an earthquake. Not only that, it's impossible to navigate, there are no free parking areas (unless on a moped!), and they divided it into FIVE QUARTERS (one of which was removed recently - it seems they realised that an Italian restuaurant and Cinema does not equal Cultural Excellence). Actually, they replaced one quarter with the "College and Creative Quarter"... 

There are now plans to basically obliterate the town centre and start again, which may be good. Since this was written new owners have taken the shopping centre and made it brilliant. I think we may be onto a renaissance here, especially now we have a decent tourist setup forming.

9. Mini-Roundabouts. In my experience, no one in Blackburn can use a mini-roundabout. So, without much explanation, I can put it here. Suffice to say, the double ones really cause problems, as people can't comprehend give way to the right on them...

10. The removal of red hard shoulders. When the motorways were first being built in Lancashire, they opted to use a different colour for hard shoulders, to symbolise that they were not running lanes. However, given recent budget cuts and a lack of will to actually find the red shale used for the hard shoulder on motorways, when resurfacing has taken place the red hard shoulders have been tarmacked over, and gone forvever. New motorways, as shown in the M65, don't have them at all. And a week after the M65 opened, someone was killed after mistaking a running lane for the hard shoulder while walking to an SOS Phone on an unlit motorway. Makes you wonder, hmm?